While you were away on business recently, I couldn't help but notice a few little things. One, I spent a hell of a lot less money. And because you weren't there to whine about the groceries I "forgot" to buy - i.e. the things you never put on the list but presumed I would remember because I don't have 5 billion other fucking things to think about? - I never even went to the store. For a whole week, the children and I managed to survive on what was already stocked in the fridge and pantry. Imagine that. No "emergency" runs to the area HellMouth, a.k.a. Walmart, with two children in tow, because you ran out of coffee creamer. Or beer. Or soda.
You know what tastes great? Water. Try it sometime.
Also, the bathroom stayed way cleaner.
So did the kitchen.
And every night I went to bed at a reasonable hour. Why? Because once the children went to bed, I had peace and quiet. Think about that for a minute.
Better rested. Less shit to clean. Less running around town. Better finances.
But I'm sure it was all just a coincidence. Had to be.
Though it defies all reason, some find water refreshing.
Photo cred: alfebetac
